My Grief & Grandma’s Gift
Text from my mom at 11:53am on Friday, September 14th:
Go to a quiet place & call me asap.
Very important.
I knew right away. I read her text, and I knew exactly what was
wrong. Instantly.
My heart raced inside my chest as I dialed Mom’s number and waited for her to answer, but I knew what she was going to say. Even though she looked perfectly healthy when I had visited her just eleven days ago, my grandmother passed away this morning. She woke up with a stomach ache and left us before we knew she had a problem.
As I heard the news, I couldn’t react. Headed out to host a lunch for new employees in our department, I had no time to cry, and I only told one friend what happened.
When he asked what I needed to do, I said, “Nothing. I can’t do anything. I just need to go on like this didn’t happen and process it later.” So we started talking about work, and he blessed me by making life seem normal.
After lunch, I attended a meeting, met friends for a community event and then took youth from my church to a football game. Once I finally arrived home at 11pm, I began to talk to the Lord about Grandma Dorothy.
One of the things that grieved me most is the lack of “things” I
have from her. I couldn’t find anything, not one single possession that she had
given me.
Then the Lord said, Hanna, look at your hands. They’re
Grandma Dorothy’s hands. (Yes, I
inherited her genes for short, stubby fingers that I’m not to fond of…) Your
hands are strong like her hands. Don’t ever be ashamed of them again. They look
like her, and she looks like Me. Now you carry her legacy inside of you, and
she’s up here cheering you on.
And look at your thighs… (a little too thick
in my opinion!) Those are hers too – strong until the end. The way she wore
out her body, laboring for those she loves, you’ll wear out your body — loving
Me. At the end, she had nothing left, and she went quick, but she ran to Me.
Hanna, look at your hands. She gave you
her hands… and her heart for family, and her hospitality and her amazing work
ethic. You don’t need an object, you have her heart. Every time you look at
your hands, you will see her hands and remember that she instilled a piece of
herself in you. You have her strength.
She’s with Me now, and she loves Me, and she’s Mine.
